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Swingers & the lifestyle: class, chemistry and clear rules
Cocktails, a great outfit and another couple catching your eye across the room. Meet liberal couples and like-minded singles, whether it’s your first night in the lifestyle or your fiftieth, with every boundary agreed before the fun begins.
- Swinger couples
- Curious first-timers
- Soft swap
- Full swap
- Like-minded singles
Signing up as…
Pick one to go straight to your free sign-up.
- A coupleNew to the lifestyle or seasoned swingers, joining as a pair.
- A manA single guy who respects a couple’s rules.
- A womanA single woman who enjoys liberal couples.
- Another identityNon-binary, trans or exploring? The lifestyle is for you too.
Free to join and strictly 18+. Profiles show a username and nearest town, not where you live.
Already one of us? Log in
Soft swap, full swap or just the vibe
Swinging means a couple choosing, together, to share some of the fun with other people. How much is up to you, and the menu can change from one night to the next.
Social only
Parties, dinners and a lot of flirting with other liberal couples, and nothing more. Many swingers start here, and some happily stay.
Soft swap
Kissing and closeness with another couple, stopping short of sex with someone else’s partner. Each couple decides exactly where that line sits.
Full swap
Sex with someone from the other couple is on the table, with everyone’s agreement. Same room or separate rooms is something you decide in advance.
Lifestyle etiquette, in one breath
Yes means yes. A no is final, the first time it’s said. Either partner can stop the evening at any moment, for any reason, and the other partner backs them without question.
The deal you make before the doorbell rings
- Choose your level for tonightSocial, soft or full, and the same answer from both of you. If one of you says soft, it’s soft.
- Pick a private signalA word or a touch that means “let’s go home”. When it’s used, you leave together, no discussion on the spot.
- Arrive together, leave togetherNobody gets left at the party or wonders where the other one went.
- Treat jealousy as informationA pang isn’t a failure. Talk about it the next morning and adjust the pact.
Etiquette that gets you invited back
- Make the first meeting socialDrinks or dinner with another couple, somewhere public. Chemistry has to work for all four of you, not just two.
- Ask, don’t assumeEvery couple has its own rules. Find out theirs before anything happens, and share yours just as clearly.
- Take a no with a smileFrom anyone, about anything. Pushing once is enough to lose a reputation in a small community.
- Protection and honesty about healthCondoms with every new partner, regular testing, and an honest answer when someone asks.
- What happens there stays thereNo names, no photos, no gossip. Discretion is the lifestyle’s oldest rule.
Everything you need to meet other swingers
- Sign up as a couple with one shared profile, or as a single
- Interests such as Couples and Groups, chosen at sign-up, feed into who you’re matched with
- VIP filters for city, distance, experience level and what people are open to, handy for finding first-timers or seasoned pairs
- VIP private group chats of up to 50 people for organizing a get-together, plus members-only chat rooms
- An optional badge for members who verify by ID or video
Just starting out as a pair?
Our couples dating page covers joining together and making a shared profile. Looking for one extra person rather than another couple? See threesomes.
Discretion comes as standard
Profiles show a username and the nearest town or city, never your names or address. You decide which photos to share, blocking takes one tap, and reports go straight to our moderators. Before your first meet, read dating safely for consent, safer sex and meeting smart.
Swingers & lifestyle: your questions
What is a swinger?
Swingers are couples who, together and by agreement, enjoy flirting or being intimate with other people, usually other couples and sometimes singles. It’s a shared hobby, not a secret: both partners are in on it, and many swingers say it brings them closer.
What’s the difference between soft swap and full swap?
Soft swap means everything up to, but not including, sex with someone else’s partner; each couple decides exactly where that line sits. Full swap means sex with someone from the other couple is on the table, if everyone involved agrees. Plenty of swingers stay social only, and that’s just as valid.
We’re new to the lifestyle. How do we begin?
Agree on your limits as a pair, set up a profile together and say plainly that you’re new. Chat with a few couples, then meet one for drinks with no plans beyond that. Experienced swingers are usually happy to welcome first-timers who are honest about it.
Can single men and women join swingers here?
Yes. Many couples enjoy meeting a single, and singles are welcome to join. Read each couple’s profile, ask what they’ve agreed and accept their rules as they stand. For couples who are looking for one extra person, see threesomes.
Is swinging cheating?
Not when both partners have agreed, which is the whole point of the lifestyle. If one partner doesn’t know, it isn’t swinging, and this site isn’t the place for it.
How much does it cost?
Joining is free for couples and singles alike: you get a profile, can browse, see fresh suggestions every day and send a handful of messages daily. VIP, from $19.99 a week in the US, removes the cap on messages and adds the filters and private group chats; VIP Plus is from $22.99 a week. At sign-up you pay in your currency: USD, GBP, CAD or AUD. See prices.
Your first lifestyle night starts here.
Set up a free profile in minutes, say what you’re open to and see which couples catch your eye.
Count me in, it’s freeDating separately too? See open relationships.
